Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
