i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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