Can Purell be used as lube?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
