I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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