I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
