Where is the hickey?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
