she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
