Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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