I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
