i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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