Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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