Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
