Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
