he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
