He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
