Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
