nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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