I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
