Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
