he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
