my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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