i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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