woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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