is your mom at the bar?
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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