Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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