I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
another moral hangover. fuck.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
