BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
His hands were made for my vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
