why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
