I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't deserve a penis
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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