I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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