Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
