Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
