Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
