Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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