I hate all girls vehemently.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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