I want to stick my p in your. b.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
