Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
