you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
