I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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