Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
