OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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