Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
