But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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