I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
