things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
