I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
