Got a toothbrush?
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
