these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
