The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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