she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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